I'm still learning to notice stress before it starts.

Coming from a privileged background, I have never been forced to consciously cultivate a counter to the major stressors befalling others. Whilst it’s important to take note of and count my blessings, when stress does I am starting off less equipped than some. My own response can be overwhelming, and the fight, flight, or freeze reactions sometimes take over - adding to the vicious cycle of stressing about stress.

The main instigator is social. When I feel a conversation isn't being heard or communicated clearly the boiling point begins to lower. I’m glad both Patch & Joseph mentioned external factors being useful when attempting to declaw the catalysts for stress response. My own experience mirrors theirs. The most recent example was as simple as a fellow student noticing I was ‘in the code’ and offering a glass of water. Potentially more useful though, was a piece of advice offered by my father that I still carry nearly two decades later.

It was a busy public holiday and I was working front of house, alongside Dad, in my parents restaurant. There was a queue out the door, long waits on food, and I could sense a general angst rising in the room. Attempting to pre-empt the complaints I increased my pace but doing too much at once, grew scattered. Meanwhile my father was cool as a 🥒

I began making mistakes when my Dad said:

Even though the profits might slip my boss was telling me to relax. A decade later I had my own restaurant and on busy days I heard the same advice echo in my head. Whilst now it was my money the ‘que, será, será’ attitude in which the original words were delivered had become the figurative meaning. I was reminded of these words when Joseph talked about reframing. Years later, the quote has lost all literal meaning and is just a reminder that stressing can’t help the stressful.

I think it’s important to keep this plan brief and achievable:

• Nutrition. I have been meal prepping healthy food, but I need to do this more. Cook bigger meals, portion, and freeze when I can.

• Relationships. Ask my partner to respect my new eating and sleeping schedule. Organise one date night per week and at least one ’wine and a whine’ session. See Sophie to complain about Capitalism once a week. Call Dylan once a week and if time allows, bonus points for calling Sam or Shay too.

• School. Stay for one hour after class each day. No screens on Saturday. Check in with myself before starting anything major on Sunday's. Can we do more or are we better served by relaxing?

• Time. Can I clean and organise more throughout the week rather than saving it all for Saturday?